Dating?

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So I’ve noticed that the closer I get to thirty the more everyone seems to be interested in my love life. I’m not just talking about my parents and family, I mean my girl friends, guy friends, strangers, people I run into at church, stangers… EVERYONE. I’m not sure if anyone else is experiencing this but its weird. I promise in the past 5 years or so conversations went from “Girl, you have all the time what are you rushing for” to “Girl you better hurry up. What’s taking so long?” “Have you heard of Tinder, Bumble, *insert any name of dating app*?” I mean its crazy. From birth to 25 yes TWENTY FIVE I was practically shamed for being interested in men or even insinuating that I may get married and have a husband one day because I needed to “focus on my goals”. I was always taught that college isn’t an option and you have no time for boys, just one degree isn’t an option, you need to stop worrying about those men and get a good salary paying job, you can afford yourself. Those men aren’t going anywhere, then it was try to start a business then it was ok you have a salary paying job now what side hustle will you be doing. Then BAM “girl why you not married”. And to be quite honest, I don’t know. In my mind I’m thinking “I’ve been out here living the life I was raised to live but not once was I taught about romantic relationships.” I grew up in a two parent home so its not like I never saw one or wanted one but I just never saw it as a priority.

I’m going to be embarrassingly transparent when saying this but at the tender age of 29, I do not know how to date. A few posts back I wrote about missing a few classes on life and this is definitely one that I missed and I know that I’m not the only one. I started to think about of the the girls “dating” in middle/high school and noticed that the experiences they were having back then I didn’t experience until my 20s.

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I was talking to some friends (1 man 1 woman) at a birthday party and my guy friend asked my girl friend if she was dating anyone and what was going on with that. He was shocked when she said no. He replied by saying “ you have everything” and started to list her accomplishments and at that time she and I both answered with “But sometimes that’s too much”(keep in mind she has accomplished way more than I could imagine) and we shared experiences when our accomplishments hindered us from dating and we also joked about how the next time we are in that position that we’re just going to lie and keep that to ourselves because guys don’t want that.

Ok now before I go on, I already know somebody is sitting over there with pouty mouth and I am not trying to cause turmoil. I am not saying all men are like this and I am also not saying that women who are in relationships/marriages are not goal driven. I am saying that these are the men we have come across and these are our experiences.

I have had conversations with friends about this and how we feel about the fact that a lot of men would rather have a girlfriend/wife that they build with or help build up then one that they can combine forces with. To be honest sometimes I wish I could back and wait on somethings…but since I can’t, I’ll just continue to ride this ride.

If you are anyone else has experienced anything like this please leave a comment or send your experience to Jiibberjaaber@gmail.com. You can use your name or choose to be anonymous.

Are we doing it right?

So I came across this tweet the other day and it got my wheels turning.

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I saw this and started thinking about my friends and how their lives are set up. Of course I have a few friends who had a kid or 2 before they were 25 but most of us are either near 30 and still childless or had kids after obtaining at least one degree.

 

 

*DISCLAIMER: Before I get into this, I have nothing against anyone who had kids early or did not graduate from college or whatever it may be.

As I read the article that accompanied the tweet, I saw how it was comparing our (millinnials) generation to what people were doing in 1975. It basically stated that we do not see having a family as a priority and our generation is getting married and starting families older. My first thought was that societies standards are definitely higher than they were back then plus just to live a comfortable life a high school diploma just won’t cut it, unless the military is what you want.


Time passed I kind of forgot about this whole discussion, then I came across this gem:

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And BINGO!!!!!! Couldn’t have said it better myself! We’ve sat around and watched our parents live paycheck to paycheck to give us a comfortable life and don’t want to repeat that cycle. In a nutshell, we millennials just want to work smarter, not harder.

 

 

Let me know what you think in the comments!!

Millennial’s Guide to Dating

Get some quick tips to ease your mind on dating in today’s world!

Dating in 2017 is rough for millennials. We’re at a time in our lives where it feels like EVERYBODY is married and starting families. Every time you log on FB, SnapChat, Instagram there’s a wedding, sonogram, baby this baby that. It sometimes leaves me asking if God forgot me.

Trust me I’ve had my share of bad dates and relationships but that doesn’t stop me from getting out there and trying again. It might make me sit in and consider being a cat lady (even though I can’t stand cats) but it doesn’t stop me completely.


Here are a few things to keep in mind while maneuvering through this crazy dating life:

  1. NEVER SETTLE

Ladies (and gentlemen), never, ever, EVER lower your standards because you want a man, woman, or whatever. Now things like height, skin color, eye color etc can be compromised but never settle for being treated less than you deserve!

  1. Treat Yo Self

Figure out what YOU like. I challenge you to sit down and write down 5 things you like to do, 5 things that make you smile, 5 things you like as gifts. This challenge is to help you figure out what things YOU like. You have to know how to keep yourself happy with or without a mate.

  1. Date yourself

It’s ok to take yourself out to eat, catch a movie by yourself, go to the museum, happy hour etc. Dating yourself gives you a chance to see how you would like to be treated. If you’re reading this and think going out with yourself is boring, think again. Plus, how can you expect someone to enjoy being around you if you don’t enjoy being around you?

  1. Have fun until you find the one!

Yes, this sounds corny, but its true. I mean honestly…what else is there to do? Get out there, live life, have new experiences, date that guy, take that trip. Don’t sit idle waiting on anyone. Life isn’t going to stop because your single.

  1. Love Yourself!

If you need to take breaks to care for yourself do it! YOU are whats important and if you’re not your best for you, you definitely won’t be your best for someone else. And like RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

-Love,

Neesh